Why Do I Lose Myself in Relationships? Codependency in relationships & Self-Abandonment

You notice the smallest changes
You notice the smallest changes in someone's voice. You can feel when something is different before anything has been said. A little more distance, a shorter message, a shift in their energy — and something inside you begins searching.

You may have become very good at understanding other people.
At making space for their feelings. Seeing where their behavior comes from. Being patient. Forgiving. Trying again.And somewhere along the way, without quite realizing it, you may have become much better at finding them than finding yourself.

Are they ok?

Are we ok?

Did I do something wrong?

When the relationship comes your emotional home

There is a particular kind of loneliness that can exist inside a relationship , you are connected to someone, perhaps profoundly so, and yesterday so much of your inner world has begun revolving around the connection that there is increasingly little room left for you.

Why do I lose myself in relationships?
Why does their distance affect me so much?
Why can’t I let go even when I know I’m unhappy?
Why am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people?
How do I love someone without abandoning myself?

why can’t I let go of someone
* why am I so attached to someone
* losing yourself in a relationship
* how to stop losing yourself in a relationship
* codependency in relationships
* signs of a codependent relationship
* self abandonment in relationships
* why do I always put my partner first
* why do I obsess over my relationship
* why does my partner’s mood affect me so much
* why do I panic when my partner pulls away
* anxiety when partner is distant
* fear of abandonment in relationships
* why do I need reassurance in relationships
* why do I overthink everything in my relationship
* emotionally dependent on partner
* how to stop being emotionally dependent on someone
* attached to an emotionally unavailable person
* why am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people
* why can’t I leave an unhealthy relationship
* I know my relationship is bad but I can’t leave
* why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me
* how to set boundaries without feeling guilty
* people pleasing in relationships
* how to choose yourself in a relationship
* how to find yourself again in a relationship

"What is happening to me while I'm trying to understand everyone else?"

The parts of you that had no where to go

If your identity became organized around being kind, understanding and compassionate, other parts of you may have had to disappear underground

The part that says no.

the part that chooses itself

The angry part.

The part that wants more

The part that is willing to disappoint someone

These parts don`t disappear, but move into the shadow - & continue to influence our relationships without awareness

Falling in love with people who carry what we have lost

There can be something magnetic about people who seem to live qualities we have struggled to inhabit ourselves

THEM

They prioritize themselves.

They detach.

They say no.

They take space.

They follow their desires.

ME

Where is my autonomy?

Where is my no?

Where is my anger?

Where is my desire?

Where an I?

Perhaps what you are longing for isn`t only them. Perhaps somewhere inside the longing is your own unloved life.

The question begins to change.

How can I restore the connection?

↓

What happens inside me when connection disapear?

How do I make them understand me?

↓

Do I understand myself?

Why they can`t give me what I need?

↓

Why am I remaining where my needs repeatedly go unmet?

Becoming someone you do not have to abandon

Jung called the lifelong movement towards psychological wholeness individuation.

It is learning that intimacy does not require disappearance of the self into the other.

I can love someone- and remain myself

Someone can be disappointed with me- and I remain myself.

Someone can misunderstand me - and I remain myself

Someone can withdraw - and I remain myself.

Love after self-abandonment

You can love someone without making them responsible for your own existence.

You can miss someone without abondonening yourself to reach them

You can understand someone`s wounds without allowing those wounds to repeatedly wound you.

You can want someone deeply and still ask whether the relationship is good for you.

PERHAPS THIS IS THE WORK

"To remain capable of extraordinary love -

and to finally include yourself among the people you refuse to abondon."

Perhaps you recognise yourslef here.

Christy offers a space to explore the deeper patterns beneath your relationships- and to l earn how to remain deeply connected without disappearing from your own life.

EXPLORE WORKING TOGETHER

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